How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Chuck…

It must be the summer for varmints.

First the coon, then the bunnies, and now a wood chuck.

I remember reading that back in the depression hobos used to leave marks on fences and trees so other tramps would know the houses to avoid, which ones had good food and where the mean dogs were.

I’m thinking some varmint put a sign out in the back 40 saying, ” Try these humans – they’re an easy mark and worth a laugh!”

However he found us – a solitary woodchuck ambled into the yard a few weeks ago and decided to make a permanent home under the wood pile in the machine shed (the only outbuilding with a gravel floor.)

We did not realize his presence for awhile and by the time Pedro first noticed the large pile of dirt and gravel in the back of the shed – he had dug out quite a home for himself.

My husband was not happy.

At first I didn’t mind so much. He was kind of cute in a 4- legged varmint-y kind of way. Besides he stuck to himself and didn’t chase chickens or eat my edamame.

But then I discovered the partially eaten pumpkins and winter squash in the garden.

Cute little Chuckie had crossed the line.

Now – how does one remove an unwanted woodchuck from his burrow underneath a large pile of wood inside a machine shed?

Good question.  But – never fear – Google has the answer.

We set the live trap for him – right outside the front entrance of his domicile – and baited it with carrots just as the website said.

Within 4 hours little Chuckie was history and his home was blocked up so no other little varmint would move in.

Maybe I should add a “no vacancy” sign.

Or “vagrants not welcome”.

Take that you little varmints. These humans are getting smart.

Photo thanks to Matt Reinbold.

Victory!

Happiness is beating the coons to the sweet corn!

CornWith the help of the electric fence AND 2 radios playing full blast all night – we managed to harvest the sweet corn before the coons!

This victory is even more sweet when you remember our battles with the coon earlier this spring. We ended that fight with the coon ahead by one baby chick.

The only thing coons like more than baby chicks is fresh, ripe, corn on the cob.

Let’s just say this evens the score.

Coon – 1, Us – 1.

Take that you pesky varmints.

The Sad Tale of Little Bunny Fufu

It is a sad tale that I share today – one of a life gone bad.

It is the tale of Little Bunny Fufu.

It all started with a simple bag of edamame seeds given to me by a friend at church to try in the garden.

I planted that bag of edamame  right next to my green beans – never dreaming the drama that would unfold because of them.

Those seeds sprouted and grew into sturdy little plants. I weeded them and watered them and watched them with pride.

All the while -  in the grass just beyond the garden lurked Little Bunny Fufu – just watching and waiting.

He and two of his buddies made their first move on the morning of Father’s Day. Jan discovered the pesky varmints systematically eating off all the leaves on the edamame.

And I do mean systematically. They started at both ends and worked toward the middle.

The peace and serenity of my garden was shattered as 2 well-aimed gunshots ended the crime spree of Little Bunny Fufu’s friends – but Little Bunny Fufu escaped into the pasture.

He hopped back to his bunny den to mourn his friends and plot revenge.

Meanwhile, we upped our garden patrols and kept the .22 handy.

All was quiet for a few weeks. We spotted bunnies surveying the territory – casually nibbling on the sweet clover in the lawn – but they never venturing into the garden.

They were waiting.

Watching.

I checked the garden just before we left on our camping trip over the weekend. The edamame  were coming back beautifully and the electric fence was hot.

We felt safe in leaving.

And all was safe – until Tuesday.

At some point on Tuesday afternoon one of the rogue squash plants grew just enough to send out a shoot that shorted out the fence.

Little Bunny Fufu was waiting for just such an opportunity. He hopped into the garden with his new gang of outlaws and started systematically to eat the edamame.

I happened to be making my rounds at the time and saw the varmints in action.

I rushed to the workshop where Jan was busy fixing a mower (this time of year Jan is always in the shop fixing a mower!), threw open the door and yelled, “The bunnies are in the garden!”

Had I been more dramatic I would have added, “Avenge my edamame!”

He did. Three shots later three bunny accomplices lay dead near the edamame they craved.

But little Bunny Fufu once again escaped into the tall grass of the pasture.

We sighed and were heading back to the shop when out of the corner of his eye Jan saw movement.

Would you believe it was Little Bunny Fufu heading back to the garden!

He saw Jan and stopped halfway to the fence.

They eyed each other in the heat of the late afternoon.

Then Jan raised his gun and ended the life of the bunny gone bad.

Learn a lesson from Little Bunny Fufu – crime doesn’t pay. Stay on your side of the fence.

Show Down at Midnight

chicks
Remember our cute little peeps? Those little bundles of fluff have grown – a lot – and are now outside in a movable pen on grass.

The broilers are fat hunks of meat that are just a week away from the freezer and the layers are lively little buggers scratching and running all over.

They have done beautifully -  until Sunday night.

It was just another peaceful night in the country. We had the windows open to enjoy a light breeze when at midnight a ruckus in the pen woke me from a very sound sleep.  I then woke Jan and – being the good wife that I am – sent him out to investigate while I rolled over and went back to sleep. :)

He came in about 30 minutes later and reported a coon had run off from the chick’s pen but he didn’t get a shot at it. He said it was a little hard to hold both the gun and the flashlight – so if the coon comes back, I’d need to come out too.

<Gulp>

Thankfully the rest of the night passed without a return visit.

Round 1: Coon – 0 Us – 0. A Stand-off.

The next night we were ready. We had reinforced the pens and went to sleep confident that they were coon proof. Ha!

My peaceful slumber ended at 3:30 when the entire pen exploded with noise – including the frantic cry of  a chick.

Now – at this point – I should have been prepared. I’ve seen enough Little House on the Prairie to know that I needed to sit up and proclaim, “Oh no, Charles, they’ve got Matilda, my best laying hen!”

My husband would jump out of bed, pull on his pants throwing his suspenders over his shoulder as he grabs the gun from the mantle and avenges my hen.

But no – it didn’t look quite like that.

Instead – I jump out of bed, knock over Jan’s radio, run into the door, trip over my shoes and finally make it outside in my jammies with the flashlight.

Meanwhile, my husband pulls on his cowboy boots with his pajama shorts and heads out to grab the gun.

But we’re too late. Somehow that wily coon had attacked a poor defenseless layer through the fence. :(

(Let’s interrupt this story for an object lesson – if that silly little chicken had stayed inside the plastic pen inside the fence she would still be alive today. How many times do we step out of God’s protection and do things our own way – only to get hurt!)

Okay – back to the chase.

We shine the flashlight all over – but can’t spot that varmint. Jan grabs the flashlight and heads off into the darkness.  It took just a few minutes before I realized that there I was – in the dark – in my jammies – with a blood thirsty coon on the loose.  I quickly ran after him and took back the flashlight.

We slowly circle the out-buildings – looking for the pesky critter.  It reminded me a little of playing Ghosts in the Graveyard when I was a kid – only the “ghost” hiding in the darkness was not a sibling, but a very alive and crafty coon.

My ankles felt very exposed.

After a thorough search of the area – we decided the coon was long gone – probably enjoying his chicken dinner and wouldn’t be back. So we went to bed.

Ha! It was 4:30 – just about the time that I had finally settled down and forgotten that there were such things as coons in the world – that the chicken pen exploded with frantic cries again.

We grab our shoes, the gun and the flashlight and rush to the pen. We see a fat old coon ambling off down the trail – but he’s too far away to get a shot. Grrr.

The next morning we surveyed the damage. All of the good little chickens who stayed inside the pen were safe, only one chick was lost.

Round 2: Coon – 1, Us – 0.

The next night we decided not to take any chances. We manually moved all of the chicks into the building and the next morning we manually moved them all back out.

Take that you pesky varmint!

It was wonderful to get a full night sleep’s – even if we did add an extra hour of work onto our day.

But this is just a temporary fix.

Somewhere out there is a crafty coon with a taste for young chicken and this farm ain’t big enough for the both of us.

Your days are numbered.

Just wait for round 3.

With a Moo Moo Here and a Moo Moo There…

Jan and I had yet another adventure this last weekend.

In a 1990 blue Ford pickup with a bench seat and manual windows pulling a borrowed trailer – we drove over 8 hours to pick up some new calves.

Eight long hours fighting a head wind.

Eight fun hours talking, laughing and enjoying each others company.

Eight hours that included over an hour of white knuckled driving through St. Louis. Boy did we look out of place – like hillbillies from the sticks! We should have rolled the windows down and spit every now and again to complete the look! :)

Cows

But these cute little ladies were worth it! They are Belted Galloway heifers – otherwise known as Oreo Cookie cows. (Now – how perfect is that for a Chocolate Lady like me!)

We loaded up early Saturday morning, turned the rig around and headed it right back home – another 8 hours.

And of course the wind changed – so we got to fight a head wind all the way home! :)

Along the way I made a few observations:

Riding on a bench seat in a pickup truck helps you discover muscles and bones you forgot you had – and the experience stays with you for several days! (A strategically placed heating pad helps!)

A Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup McFlurry is the perfect treat while cruising down the highway in the sunshine with your windows down.

Six calves in a stock trailer for 8 hours can make a really big mess that requires a power washing on Sunday morning before you leave for church.

My husband is still my favorite person to take an adventure with.

And – the very best part of any road trip is pulling in the driveway and knowing your home!