Welcome Back Winter

Snow ClothesWell hell-oo winter!

I guess you’ve decided to show up after all – and how!

After a very mild fall, and weeks of above normal temperatures, you finally arrive with below zero wind chills and snow flurries – overnight.

Really? Couldn’t you have broken us in gently?

One day I take a walk in jeans and a hoodie.

Just 24 hours later it takes me 15 minutes to don insulated coveralls, boots, a winter coat, ski gloves and a stocking cap just to get the mail. Talk about full battle gear!

All together that pile of winter wear weighs over 5 pounds.

You know there’s nothing like a pair of insulated coveralls and an extra 5 pounds of weight to make a gal feel ladylike and feminine!

And there is absolutely nothing very positive that one can say about “hat hair” – especially hat hair full of static from the dry cold.

Okay winter – I’ll admit that you hit us with hard left-hook, but you haven’t won this round!

Yes, I know that the electric fencer isn’t working, both the hydrant and the water in the cow tank are frozen, and the satellite internet is spotty.

But both cars started, the well is still running and the furnace is working just fine!

And the sun is out, the cows are staying in the fence, and I have running water in the house.

You may have knocked us for a loop – but you haven’t beaten us yet! You just make us tougher.

So there.

Anybody up for a winter walk? :)

November Snow

Dear children of mine,

I interrupt your regularly scheduled school day to bring you this special report.

Last night while we slept – it snowed.
SnowSix inches of wet sticky snow.

And although you may think that it’s really quite exciting and even somewhat pretty, I must bring a touch of reality to your morning.

The heavy snow has knocked down the electric fence and all the cows are all out.

While you were drinking your hot chocolate for breakfast – they were walking across downed wire and eating the hay bales set aside for their winter consumption.

snowPlease drop whatever you are doing and immediately put on your winter coats, snow boots, gloves and hats.

You will find them still in the tubs in the basement where we put them last spring -because your mother somehow missed the 6 inches of snow in the forecast last night and was not prepared.

Then report to the back pasture for a morning of adventure.

We’ll call it PE.

Thank you,

Your mother

 

It Must be Spring…

It Must be SpringIt must be spring in the Midwest.

One day we’re hanging laundry outside in short sleeves with the windows open.

The daffodils are poking out of the ground and the rhubarb is up.

The next day there’s that nasty white stuff in the forecast.

You know the stuff I mean – it starts with an s and rhymes with “at least we won’t have to mow!”

It’s the word that brings great excitement and celebration in the fall – but feels like a slap in the face at the end of March.

I really can’t complain though – our neighbors to the north have had it much, much worse. One friend in Minnesota said she has never been so excited to see dead grass because it meant the snow was finally gone.

She spoke to soon – they had another 7 inches overnight.

The only good thing about a spring snow is that it won’t last long.

The flowers know it – they’re blooming anyway.

The robins know it – they keep building their nests.

Even Wal-Mart knows it – they have their swimsuits and flip flops on display!

I guess we all know how very fickle March can be!

Today the furnace is running – but soon the windows will be open again.

We’ll be able to pack the winter coats and stocking caps away and the kids will be digging out their t-shirts and sunscreen!

Meanwhile, we’ll just brush the snow off the Easter Bunny and be thankful that April is only a week away!

Photo by Anne Burgess

In Which We Meet Chuck Norris

Yes, you read that title correctly – Chuck Norris. This is the real Chuck Norris – as in the Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris.

He was in Iowa stumping for my man for governor – Bob Vander Plaats. He was scheduled to speak at a rally in Council Bluffs – and we had volunteered to help.

But the day didn’t start out so well.

We had had epic storms the night before with a new storm coming through every 2 hours all night dumping more rain. By the time we woke up we had almost 6 inches in the rain gauge and could see flooding all around us.

But a little bit of rain wasn’t about to stop us – we were heading out to see Chuck Norris!

FloodWe had several detours trying to get around flooded roads. The trip became a mental game as we tried to remember where all the low bridges were and which roads were likely to be covered.

It was overcast and cool until we hit Council Bluffs.  Then the sun burst out from behind the clouds as if it knew that Chuck Norris was coming to town!

Then the heat and humidity started to climb. I could feel my hair frizzing.

We found the venue easily – almost by accident – and got to work. We put out signs, set up tables, and greeted people.

The excitement mounted as we saw the police escort pull in and the word spread that “Chuck Norris is in the building”.

A staffer pulled me aside and said I could slip my family back for a picture with Chuck and his wife if I wanted.

If I wanted?! Hmm…let me think about that…a family picture with Chuck and Gina Norris and Bob and Carla Vander Plaats?!

Oh yeah! We hurried back there as fast as we could before someone changed their mind!

We each got to personally meet the legend and his beautiful wife.

I shook Chuck Norris’s hand.

Really I  did – and my arm still works!

I think I said something really profound like “Wow – you’re Chuck Norris!”

Then we were all posed together and had our picture taken by a professional photographer – my entire family dressed in Bob Vander Plaats for governor t-shirts, with my hair frizzed and my face red from the heat.

It just might be our Christmas card!

(I wish I could show you the picture – but it hasn’t been emailed to us yet!)

The rally went really well – people were very responsive to Bob’s speech and the place erupted when Chuck Norris took the stage!

Chuck Norris
He stayed around after his talk and signed autographs until everyone had one. This guy is one class act! Seriously – Chuck and Gina are 2 of the nicest, most personable people I have ever had the privilege of meeting.

(That’s my son Matt with the legend himself!)

Meanwhile – I was passing out Vander Plaats for Governor yard signs like candy!

Later as the crowds dwindled and their car was leaving lot to catch their flight – Gina Norris saw my husband in the parking lot, rolled down her window and said, “You’re got some great kids!”

Oh my. Oh my. Oh my!

All seven of us were beaming as we got in the van to head home!

What a day it had been!

A Blizzard in December

It’s started to snow.

The forecasters predict at least a foot. The wind is supposed to pick up and the temperatures are starting to drop.

It’s a December blizzard.

We’ve been warned it was coming for some time. The grocery stores were packed last night as people stocked up on the staples. Hardware stores were just as busy selling ice scrapers and snow shovels.

The weatherman on the noon news said it would be a big one – one we would talk about for years to come.

Schools are closed through-out the state in preparation.

Snow plows are gassed up and ready.

But for now – the snow is falling softly and piling up fast.

And we wait.

Our worlds have stopped. The entire Midwest is frozen in time. Plans are on hold. Events canceled.

Meanwhile, families enjoy quiet time together in the midst of a busy month.

Adults take naps. Kids pull out the board games.

The frantic pace of Christmas is slowed down for awhile.

Hot chocolate is poured. Movies are watched.

And we wait.

And the snow falls.

And the wind blows.