We went to the big city on Saturday – and like every trip to the big city – we had to stop at my husband’s favorite store – Menard’s.
Now for those of you who have never experienced this Midwestern phenomenon – Menard’s is a regional home improvement store.
You could almost call it a red-neck Home Depot.
My husband loves it. My dad loves it. My father-in-law loves it. My brothers-in-law love it. My brother loves it.
Our kids – not so much.
When my niece was much younger she would recognize the store as they pulled in and scream from her car seat, “No ‘Nard’s Daddy! No Nard’s!” (She is now a normal well-adjusted college student with no lasting ill-effects from so much time spent in Menard’s during her developmental years – although she has an amazing knowledge of home improvement terms!)
My own children have spent so much in Menard’s that they have learned to make it fun. On this trip the girls systemically picked out a new dream kitchen – complete with cabinets, counter top and appliances. Meanwhile the boys were walking around the store planning their defense – MacGyver style – in case of Zombie attack – things like how they could use duck tape to modify nail guns.
Okay – maybe I should have limited their Mountain Dew intake at Arby’s during lunch!
At one point I heard them discuss how they could make a bomb using garden fertilizer for nitrogen, cellulose and battery acid.
Oh dear – I wonder what people thought!
But then you see all kinds of people at Menard’s – like the older couple wearing matching striped bib overalls or the dashing stranger with the black cape coat and long sideburns. He looked like he should have a dagger hidden in his belt and rescue the fair princess from the evil dragon.
Hmm…maybe I should have limited my caffeine intake at Arby’s!
Personally I have come to appreciate Menard’s. Where else can you pick out a scented candle that will cost you 75 cents after rebate while listening to a video across the aisle telling you that you will save thousands of gallons of water over the lifetime of the toilet.
No – I’ve come to realize that Menard’s is much more than just scented candles, toilet seats, garden seeds, a new rake, water softener salt, electrical conduit, dry wall, PVC pipe and cabinet knobs.
I now see every trip to Menard’s as a promise that a project will soon be finished.
That’s why this wife says, “Yes, ‘Nard’s!”
